October 19th 2009

So, Brandon and I did some bible studing. 
In our quest to find more about our Lord we stumbled on Matthew 16:24-25
Yeah the old take up the cross and die to oneself verse.  I have always understood that verse but never UNDERSTOOD the verse.  I think I UNDERSTAND now.  I have always thought taking up the cross was about behaving like a christian.  I know warped right?  But it is what I thought.  Sooooo, after perusing some commentaries (dont worry I know those are just human opinions) anyhoo, I found this little item.

Matthew 16:24-25 Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. "For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.


The cross was not a burden to bear, but an executioner’s device. A person seen carrying his cross had literally been sentenced to death and was on the way to the place where he would be executed. So the person who “loses his life” is the one who has died to all hopes and dreams that the “self” ever had in this life. He is willing to suffer the loss of everything, even life itself if need be, for the sake of the gospel. His reward is eternal life. The person who considers the things of this life more important than the cross shall lose his life eternally. He has made the things of this life more important than his eternal soul. We are either willing to die to everything through the cross and gain eternal life, or we will cling to the things of this sinful world and gain hell. -Bob DeWaay



 
A person seen carrying his cross had literally been sentenced to death and was on the way to the place where he would be executed.  That blows me away. 
 But the next line is the real kicker  So the person who “loses his life” is the one who has died to all hopes and dreams that the “self” ever had in this life. 
Just never understood what that meant until now.  Man Im dense.  Not only do I need to give up the material but the spiritual garbage as well.  Taking up my cross means I may not be a famous photographer, wealthy, a perfect mother but if I were to let all the old crap "die" I would leave room for the hopes and dreams that Christ has for me.  Which have to be much better than marrying my Ken doll.  (Ok bizzare I know but I always wanted to be Barbie ok there I said it)  Praise the Lord that I have given up that dream. 
Anyway,  Goal for the week, see what all I can die too.  Hey already have one my smoking addiction. 
 
Praise to You my Lord and King for taking up Your cross and shedding Your blood for me.  I can not give you anything that can repay the price you paid for me except me.  I can only give myself back to you.  Thank you Jesus for Your grace and mercy.  I am picking up my cross so that I may walk up the hill and die.  This world has nothing for me.

October 18th 2009 Supplemental

Oh goodie he is snoring. 

October 18th 2009

What a stupid day.
First, I thought I read my work schedual well  enough but I guess not.  I recieved a phone call from my boss stating that I was to be at work.  Oh really well I did inform him that I would be working 7 days in a row.  Geez Im such an idiot.  But, usually if you work on Saturday you are usually off on Sunday.  As they say never assume.  I worked it but now Im short hours and I have to make them up tomorrow which means I have to work 8 days.  Reminder to self  PAY ATTENTION.

Now on another note, I have to say that I completely ADORE and LOVE my husband.  But with all this hormone crap going on he is starting to annoy me.  If only I could get him to stop breathing.  His nose has this wheezy sound coming out of it and its driving me nuts.  I have told him he could continue to breathe and that I have to get over it, hopefully I will get over it or else he is going to find himself under the pillow. Just kidding but he may have to sleep on the couch.

October 17th 2009

I am sleepy right now.    More later

October 16th 2009

Geez, I just remembered that I forgot my ex husband's birthday.
Wierd I know but I try to remember so that my our son will send a birthday wish to him.
Sorry Henry I forgot
I'll catch ya next year.

Praise the Lord I survived another day.  AND I did it without being nasty to people.  It is always a good thing to walk the walk and talk the talk when you are a christian.  That has been my prayer lately  that I may just keep my mouth shut so that I do not dishonor Jesus.  So far so good.  I am about to read my bible and commune a bit before bed.  I have to work tomorrow, I really hate those 6 day work weeks but what ya going to do in this economy. 

Romans 12:2  
And be not fashioned according to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, and ye may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.